Let it go: how to break out of 5 emotional ruts Let it go: how to break out of 5 emotional ruts
Centr Team
27 Jan 2021
Letting go: it’s such a liberating concept, they wrote an Oscar-winning song about it! But if you’re attempting to move forward and don’t seem to be getting anywhere, you may be stuck in an emotional rut.
An emotional rut is a ‘stuck’ feeling – a state of mind where you are turning up for work, classes, workouts or other responsibilities and going through the motions, but you’re not emotionally present. And if you can’t release what is keeping you stuck in that rut, you’ll never get any closer to your goals.
How can you tell if you're in a rut?
Sometimes it’s hard to figure out if that flat feeling is just a bad day/week or a rut. Here are the signs to look out for:
- Every day blurs into one and you have trouble telling them apart. (For instance, you may have trouble thinking of anything noteworthy you’ve done in the past few weeks.)
- You are showing up and doing what’s needed, but you’re not feeling motivated or excited about anything you’re doing.
- You lack energy, physically and mentally.
- You can’t find the motivation to make any changes, even though you know they’d be good for you.
- Everything – and this is a technical term – is a bit ‘meh’.
How did I get here, and how do I get out?
If you’re not present to uncomfortable emotional states – if you avoid your feelings or try to distract yourself – the more you let it fester, the bigger the pile of unresolved ‘stuff’ grows. As you get increasingly weighed down, you’re likely to end up stuck in a rut.
Sometimes, ruts have simple solutions. You can try a change of scenery by getting out into nature. You should also put your self-care go-to's into action, reach out for help when needed, and reaffirm your goals.
According to Psychologist Jacqui Manning, the most important thing you can do to get out of a rut (and avoid falling into another one) is to pay attention to your emotional state. “When you do have these feelings, don’t ignore them – you need to acknowledge an emotion before it can be released,” says Jacqui.
What are the feelings you need to pay attention to in order to stay out of a rut? Let’s break them down…
1. The anger rut
When anger turns inwards, it can lead to a depressive ‘why bother?’ attitude. So finding ways to express your anger – not at other people, of course – is key to your emotional health. Jacqui says: “No matter how small the issue, try to let it out when it’s at the smaller resentment stage before it turns into full-blown anger. Write down your thoughts and feelings to discharge some of that energy, and be clear with your feelings – for example, ‘It made me angry when this happened’.”
Anger often stems from hurt, sadness or grief, so if it’s those emotions you need to address and express, do it in the same way.
Prickly feelings aren’t fun, but acknowledging them honestly is the best way to deal with them – Michael can help you with that.
2. The insecurity rut
You know how it goes: you’re scrolling through Instagram and you see a gym bod that you can’t match up to and you start to doubt yourself and the progress you’re making.
“Comparison is the thief of joy,” says Jacqui, “and it can lead to feeling insecure, too. So to protect yourself from insecurity take breaks from social media – long ones, if needed – and unfollow any accounts that constantly knock your self-esteem.”
Keeping track of your training and results will help make your progress real and tangible. And when you achieve something you’ve been working towards, reward yourself!
3. The regret rut
Are you stuck in a rut of what could’ve been? Chewing over regrets can keep you stuck in a never-ending loop and burning up too much emotional energy. Remember that we all do our best with the resources and information we have at the time, so don’t let regret cloud your days and impact your future. Acknowledge anything you would have done differently, learn from it and move forward.
4. The perfectionism rut
It may sound backward, but striving for perfection will get you stuck because you’re striving for a goal that doesn’t exist. And that can leave you feeling like you’re never going to measure up. Jacqui says: “Stop chasing the illusion of perfection and strive to do only YOUR best in whatever you do.”
Guided meditation can help you to let go of the fear of failure and embrace your own version of success.
5. The complacency rut
When you lose your passion for your goals and dreams and lose sight of your ‘why’, you lose momentum. You need to take action to confront complacency because it’s all too easy to stay in your comfort zone (AKA your rut). Reassess your goals and set a challenge that will take you outside your comfort zone – it may be as simple as upping your weights or trying a different style of training. Get your mind back in the game and get on with smashing it.
