How to make new friends as an adult

Attempting to make a new friend as an adult can feel awkward, uncomfortable and even remind you of being a shy or nervous little kid. It doesn’t help that as adults we hold the false belief that in this stage of life making friends should be easy and seamless. We beat ourselves up when a bit of doubt or low self-esteem comes up. Feeling anxious about making new friends as an adult is very normal.

Vast numbers of Americans feel lonely in their daily lives. If most of us are feeling lonely, why aren’t we making an effort to find meaningful connections and friendships? Doing so will better our mental and physical well-being because friendship is a nutrient we need to flourish.

Here are some tips for making friends.

1. Get a new hobby

Feeling lonely can have an impact on physical health which might lead one to isolate, stop exercising, eat poorly or let go of creative pursuits and expression. Choosing a new hobby such as a fitness class, cooking class, or an art project introduces you to a new social circle and places the attention on a hobby rather than the connection to help take some of the pressure off.

Looking up hobbies and classes on social media also helps connect you to the group and space before arriving to create a built-in support network and sense of ease.

Chances are that you are not the only one experiencing loneliness.

2. Check in

Reach out to old acquaintances, co-workers, family friends that you haven’t spoken to in a while. Chances are that you are not the only one experiencing loneliness. Reaching out to someone who hasn’t heard from you in a while may brighten both of your days. It may even lead to an unexpected conversation, a sense of connection and meaning.

Is there someone in your life you’ve been meaning to reach out to? Maybe you’ve heard that someone you know recently moved into the same city or area as you, and there’s an opportunity to get back in touch. Decide to go that extra mile and put yourself out there.

3. Ask questions

When you meet someone that you can see a potential friendship with, get to know them by asking meaningful questions. Engaging another person through thoughtful conversation creates a sense of depth and connection that are foundational for a new friendship. Get to know details about their work, friendships, and things that they are excited about.

Some questions could be: What’s the best thing you’ve read or watched lately? What do you do for fun on weekends? Where are you traveling to next? What’s your favorite food to cook?

Making friends as an adult can feel nerve-racking, but putting yourself out there to take that risk is integral to living a fulfilled life.