Are you stuck in a cycle of exhaustion? Are you stuck in a cycle of exhaustion?

When was the last time you felt yourself really let go? We have a collective habit in the Western world of not really arriving at a deep state of rest. We tend to have packed lives with lots of responsibilities, and many of us have real difficulty in relaxing at the end of our long, overscheduled days. Perhaps we wind down with TV or a couple of glasses of wine, but does this really relax our nervous system to the level that we need?

Going from 60 to zero takes time

Once we hit that high-level fight or flight response in our nervous system, coming down from it takes more than we think. Most of our go-to habits don’t touch the level of stress we feel at a deep level. This is why we get stuck in cycles of exhaustion, reactivity, and irritation in our lives.

We have a fundamental need to completely relax and recharge each day in order to have what it takes to focus and be productive. Think of any animal. Regardless of whether you picture a leopard, deer or your dog, you’ll notice that they tend to rest and chill out, and then have a burst of productive energy, perhaps chasing their prey (or a ball) with absolute determination for a few very important minutes.

If they were to stay in an agitated state, at half-speed, and miss that contented rest time, they wouldn’t have the ability to utilize their full potential in the moment it was needed. And so it goes with our species as well. Most of us are so locked in a tight nervous system that we can’t access our full potential.

We need to truly let go more often.

We need to bring our baseline nervous system energy down to a healthy level. We need to live a little more like Henley, my family’s golden retriever.

“But how do I do that?” You might ask. I find that it starts with the mind and with the breath. Someone else may tell you that it takes a certain amount of exercise each day, or a certain calming and cleansing diet, but I have seen those things not work if the mind stays locked into its same patterns of agitation and irritation.

It is from the mind and the breath that our nervous system receives the signal to move into high alert. Likewise, it is with inner attitude and conscious breathing that we can learn to give the nervous system a different signal: chill out!

I find that those with the least agitated nervous systems are those who have a thought pattern and a breathing pattern that supports their life. Notice what your mind is saying to you throughout the day. Is it encouraging you, believing in you and telling you to relax? Or is it driving you to do more, be more and say more constantly? Notice your breath, too: is it shallow? Do you barely even notice that you’re breathing

Try deepening your breath and saying something positive to yourself at the same time. Something like, “I got this!” or “I’m OK” or “I can handle the stresses that come my way.” If you can practice this regularly and build a positive pattern, your nervous system will receive it as a signal to unwind a little, taking your general state of agitation down to something closer to a happy cat’s, and preserving your amazing strength for a moment when you need it most.