Two meditation cliches we all need to get over

Meditation is often misunderstood as a way to let go of any difficult situation, a technique to live an easygoing life. We also often hear that it consists of emptying our minds. What does that even mean?

Is meditation “letting go”?

Meditation isn’t about learning new information or strategies, but about unlearning what restrains us, what prevents us from experiencing what is, as it is. We learn to let go in order to grasp what is happening in our lives. We all know how to intensify our emotions or to make everything reflect back on ourselves.

For example, if I fail an exam, I will think to myself “I’m such a loser”, if a woman looks at me “I’m so lovable”, etc. In both situations, we are prisoner to the illusion that we are the center of the universe.

To experience what is, as it is, we have to let go of this rigid behavior. That is precisely what attention is: observe simply what is, and let it be. For that purpose, we need to abandon our preconceptions and our fears. Let’s stop trying to control everything and start dancing with life.

Let’s stop trying to control everything and start dancing with life.

A common mistake is making an intentional strategy out of this “letting go” attitude: we want to succeed in letting go at all costs, whereas it really means letting go of any personal plan for the life we are living.

Is meditation emptying one’s mind?

Just be present, no matter what comes up. Your body is here, your breath is here, silence is here… It is not empty, but dense and lively. Kierkegaard, the philosopher, once said: “Life and the world as we know it is gravely ill. If I were a doctor and I was asked about men, I would answer: Silence! Give them silence!” Kierkegaard was a visionary. Nowadays, doing nothing terrifies our society. We are led to think being restless is better than doing the right thing at the right moment.

This situation causes many problems. People feel alive only when they experience intense emotion, for example by doing extreme sports, watching horror films, or binge drinking.

Given the above, it is logical that people would want to empty their minds of this constant stream of emotions, like they would shut off the TV or build a Hoover Dam: they want to find some peace of mind, some silence. But we aren’t machines with files you can simply delete! Emptying our minds is not something we can do.

We want to empty our minds because we can’t deal with our thoughts. So we become saturated with everything happening around us, and we feel the need to cut ourselves off it, even if it means becoming groggy and numb.

Meditating is totally different. It’s not about escaping into restlessness, or cleaning out your mind with a vacuum; rather, it’s about being wholly present to everything that is.