Boost your self-esteem in 4 quick steps

We all struggle with insecurities, second-guessing and self-doubt. Maintaining self-esteem is actually a challenge and something we work at every day to maintain a healthy mindset. It takes dedication and patience.

Without feeling safe, happy, confident and connected, it is impossible to have a healthy sense of self. Coming from a mindset with healthy self-esteem makes it easier to be a good parent, run a business, stay connected socially, or just generally feel content.

Changing our mindset to support a more positive sense of self takes practice. Each day we are given the choice to practice healthy self-esteem.

Self-compassion is a wonderful tool used to broaden one’s sense of self-esteem. If you have trouble maintaining positive self-esteem, here’s an exercise to help you change your way of thinking and practice more self-compassion.

1. The imaginary friend

To begin, imagine a friend who is having a hard time. Write down how you might comfort them, what advice you might give, or how you would support a friend in hardship.

2. Internal dialogue

Next, imagine how you would treat yourself in the same difficult circumstances and write down your approach. Think back to how you have treated yourself during difficult times, or when you made mistakes. Our well-being is dependent on the way we view ourselves because it influences the internal dialogue in our minds. If our mind is constantly judging, putting down, or feeling inadequate it will have an effect on our behavior.

Without feeling safe, happy, confident and connected, it is impossible to have a healthy sense of self.

3. Compare and contrast

When you are done writing, take a few moments to review both responses and see if there is a difference in tone or how you would approach yourself. Often we are much kinder to others than we are ourselves. We forgive less and demand more of ourselves, and that makes our poor self-esteem spiral further.

4. You’ve got a friend in… you!

When you can recognize these thoughts, you have to challenge them. But with love, not harshness. If you can begin to treat yourself like a friend in even the smallest moments of hardship, you can build healthy self-esteem. It requires a gentle and open approach.

Often our pattern is to feel ashamed or frustrated that we are doing something incorrectly and we try to change the pattern from a place of judgment or unkindness. That approach will not work with self-esteem because it does not address the underlying mindset. To practice being kind, gentle, forgiving and patient with yourself is the best way to build self-esteem.