3 ways to quiet your mental chatter

One of the most common questions I’m asked by my clients these days is “How can I bring more mindfulness into my everyday life?”

People from all walks of life are becoming more aware of the benefits to mindfulness practices – stress reduction, improved attention, better sleep, to name just a few – and who doesn’t want to feel more peaceful and well? Thankfully, there are so many simple and varied ways to become more mindful that I never run out of suggestions.

The essence of mindfulness, after all, is the ability to let go of your mind’s noisy chatter and to touch into the stillness that lies underneath. We are all capable of this and there are many straightforward practices which allow us to start small and build. Our bodies carry the wisdom to help us return to presence, openheartedness and freedom.

Here are three of my favorite ways to add mindfulness to your day:

1. Notice your thoughts

By purposefully making a space in your day to bring awareness to the mental chatter in your brain you can start to feel that you are not your thoughts. The goal is not to stop thinking – that is nearly impossible! The goal is to start to feel the teeny, tiniest space between you and your thinking.

You might spend just 2 minutes paying attention to your mind doing its thing and say inwardly, “there’s a thought”, “there’s another”, “and another”. Notice the thoughts without jumping into them.

This is what educator and psychiatrist Dan Siegel calls “name it to tame it”. But we might call it “name it to train it”. Little by little, with gentle observation we can train the brain away from persistent mental activity about the future, the past, our worries or our ideas, and come to inhabit the present moment.

Why not try it now? Just pause and spend 2 minutes with this inward focus. It’s easy to do and builds an important new pathway to ease.

We can train the brain away from persistent mental activity about the future, the past, our worries or our ideas, and come to inhabit the present moment.

2. Check in with your breath

This practice can be done anywhere, anytime. Sitting, standing, eyes closed, eyes open, there is no right or wrong way! Take a moment to simply check in with your body and to feel the natural rhythm and pace of your breath. Don’t attempt to alter a thing!

Just notice the exhale and the inhale. Notice the endless gentle cycle. Notice where you feel the breath in your body. What sensations do you feel as the air enters your body and as it is expelled? When your mind wanders, as it is sure to do, just come back again and again.

Bringing attention to this most basic and involuntary function helps us engage with our animal bodies, our feelings, the sensations below our conscious awareness. Tuning into breath and holding attention there takes us some place other than the challenging thoughts, stress and anxiety of everyday life.

3. Be kind to yourself

Self-compassion has become a bit of a buzz word but it is undoubtedly one of the most important and effective ways to feel ease and wellbeing. Self-compassion is not self-pity and it is not self-indulgence. I like to think of it as kindness turned inward. It really is that simple.

Self-compassion stems from a willingness to observe our negative thoughts and emotions with openness and clarity. This is where mindfulness comes in.

Self-compassion expert Kristen Neff writes about a wonderful exercise she calls a “self-compassion break”. It looks like this: in a moment of stress or emotional discomfort say to yourself “This is a moment of suffering” (or “This is stress” or even “Ouch”). Next say to yourself: “I am not alone” (or “we all struggle”). Lastly, with warmth and care, say to yourself: “May I be kind to myself”. You might also try “May I learn to accept myself as I am” or any other phrase that speaks to you in the given moment as a statement of kindness.

There you have it: three practices that provide a quick break, in the present, in the body. Mindfulness starts with small steps. Take a moment to take one now!