4 steps to stop sweating the small stuff 4 steps to stop sweating the small stuff
Alexis Naim
28 Aug 2019
Are you ever surprised by your own big reactions to small stressors? It can be confusing – and distracting – when a trivial thing causes so much discomfort, frustration or anxiety. Yet so often the little things in life catch us off guard.
Stress is part of everyday life, but sweating the small stuff tends to happen when there is a build-up of stress that hasn’t been managed. We can think of our bodies like cars; managing and reducing stress is the regular maintenance needed, like an oil change. Without these tune-ups, we become tightly wound and unable to think clearly. That’s when we find ourselves freaking out over a wrong coffee order or a delayed train like it’s the end of the world.
When you notice intense feelings bubbling up in response to small stressors, try these simple strategies to fight back:
1. Compare and contrast
Bring yourself out of the reaction by comparing what you are experiencing to another challenging time in your life. Often when we are reacting to small things, our perspective becomes very narrow, and even an inconvenience feels like a catastrophe. By pausing the knee-jerk reaction and putting the small stuff into perspective, you can see outside of the immediate experience and gain some clarity.
2. Take a mindful moment
Mindfulness strategies can help calm you down and provide some clarity on the situation. When you feel that worry sweep over you, try a mountain meditation. Begin by closing your eyes and focusing your attention on your breath. Imagine your body is a stable, grounded and supported mountain. Any thoughts that pass through your mind are like clouds, and let them pass by. If you get caught on a cloud and find yourself worrying again, come back to the breath.
Transport yourself with meditation and change your perspective.
3. Write it, read it, put it away
Sometimes our minds get caught in a loop of anxious or obsessive thoughts. It could be that you said the wrong thing at work or in a social situation, and you’re replaying it over and over in your head. The harder you try not to think about the stressor, the bigger it seems.
Try writing down on paper everything about how that experience is making you feel. Don’t overthink it, just let it flow as honestly and openly as you can. Then pause, look at it, and leave it. If it’s in your journal, put it away. If it’s just loose leaves of paper, maybe screw them up into a ball, put them in the trash and say ‘enough.’ Choose to leave it behind and move on.
4. Pause and problem-solve
Rather than feeling overwhelmed when things suddenly go wrong, reorient your thinking from the problem itself to what you can do to fix it or move forward. Missed a doctor’s appointment? Call and reschedule immediately. Forgot an ingredient for tonight’s dinner and can’t go back? Find a different recipe or improvise. You’ll find that being a solution-oriented person empowers you rather than letting you get defeated.
